"I--"

She shakes her head, combing through her memories (and going back to a place she doesn't want to be), jaw unhinged as she tries to make it all make sense.

"--I don't know, I lost control."

She rewinds from the time she thrust the blade into Jack's stomach, from the fifteenth, from the fourteenth hole, back, back until she remembers hitting the ground.

"He was stronger than me. He was still stronger than me. And all I could think was ... was that I wasn't going to let him ... put me in the hospital again. And then, when he -- he started screaming, I thought ... I thought there was no way to stop him. No way to stop it from happening."

Her fingertips are trembling, tears in the corners of her eyes.