For Jack Bauer -- a MM thread

[whathastobedone]

She can feel it slipping through her fingers. Everything. All of it. Vladimir has called every contact he could possibly think of, and none of them know anything about the nuclear rods.

"Well, somebody that you've already talked to has to know something!"

"Renee, it's done."

No. No, it's not done. It can't be done. Jack's sitting downstairs waiting for this information; all of CTU is counting on her to find these rods, and if it's done that means the mission is over. Jack will pull her out, and she'll go back to...

What?

"We made five million."

"Why settle for five when we could have fifty?"

He laughs, and just looking at him makes her sick to her stomach, but then he's touching her and it's all she can do to keep her cool -- keep her cover. She smiles at him, hands on his waist like the thought of his body against hers doesn't repulse her, and tries to think.

"Five million is plenty. Plus, we have each other. That's not so bad, is it?"

"No, it's not bad," she smiles. "But it could be better!"

And then she moves, trying not to run but keeping her steps quick as she goes for his phone.

"Call them again. Do it for me."

Please.



Please.

Comments

[whathastobedone]

There isn't much of one to gauge.

She steps through the door, stops, eyes on the corpse on the floor. To just about anyone she might look indifferent.

But to someone who's seen her break before, there's the subtlest change in her eyes, like the color has just gone muted, and dull.

She blinks slowly, refocusing somewhere just shy of the body, and works her throat.

"What should I do?"

[trigger_man]

"Check the laptop, see if you can find any information Laitanan had on his contacts," he says, quickly thinking of something to keep her focused but that will actually be useful. "I'll call CTU and let them know what happened and that you're sending them information."

[whathastobedone]

She's moving in slow motion, but the important thing is that she's moving at all. She turns to look at him -- again, her eyes fall just short of his face -- and nods.

"Okay."

She makes her way to the desk, and eases herself into Vladimir's chair. It only lasts a second before she's standing again, skin crawling.

She clears her throat, shakes it off, and brings the laptop out of sleep mode, blinking a little excessively to focus on the screen.

[trigger_man]

Jack watches her as he digs his phone out of his pocket, but doesn't comment.

He dials CTU, stepping into the bathroom as he waits for it to connect. He doubts it'll keep Renee from hearing anything he has to say, but maybe if he pitches his voice low enough she won't overhear.

Not that Hastings makes that easy once Jack's told him about what happened.

"Half an hour earlier she was having sex with the guy! How's that even happen, Jack? Is she losing it?"

Jack grinds his teeth, trying not to snap--she wasn't just having sex with him and then change her mind; she was raped you fucking asshole--but can't quite keep all of his disgust out of his tone.

"She was defending herself. Look, we knew this guy was violent before we went in."

"He's violent? He's dead on the floor!"

"Yes he is, and we still don't have the nuclear materials secured. So I suggest we move on."

It takes a while at hammering away at Hastings' reliuctance to let go, but Jack finally manages to coax him into focusing on where they go from here. Too long, in Jack's opinion, and by the time he hangs up and walks back out into the office, the tension of trying to be halfway civil is starting to give him a tension headache.

At least Agent Ortiz and his men are on the way; he might have just met Cole, but he's pretty sure that Cole is more capable of focussing on what needs to be done than his boss.

[whathastobedone]

She isn't eavesdropping. Not really. She has enough going through her mind as it is, and she's concentrating as best she can on the files she's pulling up, looking for anything that might be helpful.

But she can't help but overhear. Her ears are practically burning.

She tips her head in the direction of the bathroom, listening to the anger and disgust in Jack's voice, imagining the kind of things Hastings is saying on the other line. She doesn't turn back to the computer screen until he's disconnected, and come back out into the room.

"You didn't have to do that, Jack," she murmurs.

[trigger_man]

"Do what?" he asks, walking over to the desk and crouching next to her so he can read what's on the screen without looming over her.

[whathastobedone]

She looks at her hands, blood in the crevasses of her knuckles.

"Cover for me. With Hastings."

[trigger_man]

"Hey," he says, turning toward her. "We talked about this. It was self-defense."

[whathastobedone]

"Yeah. I know. That's what we agreed."

Her eyes slip back to the body on the floor, and there's a "but" hanging in her red-rimmed eyes.

[trigger_man]

"No, that's what happened," he says, firmly. "You have to believe that, Renee; for CTU and for yourself."

[whathastobedone]

She pulls her eyes away from Laitanan and looks at Jack, frowning. She's searching for that confidence he wants her to have. She just can't find it.

"Right."

She nods once and sharp, but when she turns her head she looks as unsure as she feels.

[trigger_man]

"Renee, look at me," he says, placing a hand on her shoulder. "He attacked you. You stabbed him in self-defense. Just because you didn't stop at one blow doesn't mean it wasn't. You were scared, you were emotionally overwrought, and you can't turn off that kind of adrenaline like a switch. You tell me; what were you thinking at that moment? Can you remember?"

[whathastobedone]

"I--"

She shakes her head, combing through her memories (and going back to a place she doesn't want to be), jaw unhinged as she tries to make it all make sense.

"--I don't know, I lost control."

She rewinds from the time she thrust the blade into Jack's stomach, from the fifteenth, from the fourteenth hole, back, back until she remembers hitting the ground.

"He was stronger than me. He was still stronger than me. And all I could think was ... was that I wasn't going to let him ... put me in the hospital again. And then, when he -- he started screaming, I thought ... I thought there was no way to stop him. No way to stop it from happening."

Her fingertips are trembling, tears in the corners of her eyes.

[trigger_man]

"You lost control because you were scared for your own safety, Renee; you just said it yourself," he says, running his hand up and down her spine slowly. "You thought that he was stronger and that he'd put you in the hospital; that's the definition of self-defense. Telling CTU that isn't going to be a lie or twisting the facts."

[whathastobedone]

She purses her lips together and nods shakily, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I should have known better," she mutters. "I should have stopped after he was down, but I ... I couldn't."

That's what scares her the most.

"I couldn't stop."

[trigger_man]

"I know, but that doesn't mean it wasn't self-defense."

He's about to add something else when he hears the sound of a car door slam outside. Either Cole had overestimated the time it would take to get to them, or he'd had luck with traffic.

"Dammit, they must really have been moving; CTU's here already. Listen, Renee. Everything you've told me says that it was self-defense. Like I said, you need to believe that for you, not just for CTU. We'll talk later, okay?"

He doesn't wait for her answer before turning and walking out of the office, planning to intercept Cole and his agents before they get to the office.

The sound of voices from the men outside stops him in his tracks, though, and sends him diving for cover. Turning on his heel, he runs back to the office, grabbing Lugo's ankles and dragging him inside.

"They're Russian. Vladimir must have contacted whoever's got the nuclear rods, only they didn't want him to know."

[whathastobedone]

She doesn't really register he's asked her a question until she misses the presence of his hand on her spine. She turns her head to answer, a quiet "okay", but he's already moving. She watches him go, watches the space in the door after he's disappeared downstairs, and tries to understand the knot of nerves left in her stomach in the wake of his warmth.

She brushes the unshed tears from her eyes and returns her focus to the laptop, deciding she might as well be doing something productive while she waits for the anvil to drop. She hasn't gotten very far by the time Jack comes rushing back in.

"--What?" she exclaims, moving away from the laptop. She glances at the window on instinct, but there's nothing to see through the partially drawn blinds. "What are you doing?"

[trigger_man]

Jack closes the office door, glancing around--need another exit--and heads for the bathroom. The wheels in his head are turning, trying to come up with a plan, though he knows there's really only one option, and the thought of it makes him feel slightly sick to his stomach.

"Here, take this," he says, pulling his comm unit out of his ear and handing it off to Renee as he passes her. Inside the bathroom, he spots a textured, translucent window, hurrying toward it and searching for a latch.

"I need to let them take me," he says, fingers groping over the edges of the window.

They have no idea who these guys are, where they're based. Their only hope is for him to keep his cover going, and let CTU track him to their headquarters. It's how long CTU will take to get there, and what's going to happen in the interim that has his stomach tightening.

But first, he needs to get Renee out of there.

[whathastobedone]

When he hands her his earpiece, she knows what he's planning even before he says it. It's the most logical course when dealing with an unknown hostile; there are too many variables, too many things that could go wrong with an escape plan (there's only one way out) or fighting back (how many are there? Where are they?). So your best bet is to keep your cover in place, and hope someone finds you before the enemy decides they have no use for you.

However, even knowing all this, it doesn't stop the icy chill that clamps around her backbone, and the lurching feeling in her stomach when he finally says the words out loud.

"No! We need to get out of here!"

After everything that's happened, how could he expect her to let him make that kind of a sacrifice? He's all she has, and she'll be damned if she loses him, too.

[trigger_man]

The window isn't budging; no way out. His plan really is their only option; maybe if he can distract them...

"We don't know who these guys are, CTU won't get here in time, and you and I are outnumbered," he says, turning toward Renee. "If you want everything you've done to be for something, I've got to let them take me. CTU can track me from the air."

[whathastobedone]

She shakes her head once and sharp, even though the federal agent still lingering within her agrees with everything he's saying.

"They will kill you."

For the first time since Laitanan went down, her eyes are sharp and focused.

Please don't do this.

[trigger_man]

"It's worse, they're going to have to vet me."

If he can't find a way out, he's going to have to find a place for Renee to hide. Turning around, he spots a door partially hidden by the open bathroom door, and heads toward it.

"They'll need to find out what I know and how. Cole and his men aren't far away; they'll only be a few minutes behind us."

It's those few minutes that worry him, though. He's not lying to Renee when he says they're not going to kill him--not immediately. But when he won't answer their questions, they're going to resort to force to get them.

[whathastobedone]

Renee looks rightfully upset.

"You and I both know what that means," she hisses, keeping her voice low, but as firm as possible. "Jack, if these are friends of Vladimir's, they won't show you any mercy, trust me."

Her voice drops to a whisper on those last two words, as she shuffles closer to the closet and Jack's side.

[trigger_man]

He yanks the door open; inside there's a water heater and not much else. Enough room for Renee to hide with the door closed, and that's all he cares about at the moment.

"I know that," he says, "Neither did the Chinese. But this is our only option, and it'll buy CTU some time. Quick, in here."

He pushes her inside, pulling the holster and pistol out of his waistband, quickly checking the gun before pressing it into her hands. "This door opens again, you start shooting."

[whathastobedone]

Her stomach twists when he mentions the Chinese. She moves into the closet without a fuss, accepts the gun like a woman with training (not the scared girl she feels like on the inside), and tries not to think about his file, or what the Russians might do to him if CTU doesn't intercept them.

"Jack!"

She stops him from shutting the door, knowing they don't have a lot of time but she can't let him walk away without ... without what? She reaches for his shoulder, and searches for the right words, but everything comes out sounding cliched.

"Be careful," she eventually whispers, touching his jaw briefly before drawing her hand back to the gun. She nods with more conviction than she honestly feels, letting him know that she's ready.